Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation
Love

Love and Infatuation are both intense emotions that one feels for another person. These feelings are most often confused for each other by many people. But the two feelings differ in their actuality of love, intensity and final outcome.

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoning passion or love; addictive love. Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. Love can be described as feeling of intense affection for another person. It is most often talked about as an emotion between two persons. Hence is also sometimes referred to as interpersonal love.

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Infatuation

Love

Definition Infatuation is the state of being completely lost in the emotion of unreasoning desire. A decision to commit oneself to another and to work through conflicts instead of giving up.
Associated with Selfish uncontrollable desire. Physical chemistry over a fairly long period of time.
Sub-Categories Short lived physical desire, crush, lust, hormonal activity, or addictive chemical reactions in the brain. Not revived with the same person without a deeper feeling. Intimacy, commitment, security, the desire to please and help the other person.
Symptoms Urgency, intensity, sexual desire, anxiety, high risk choices, reckless abandonment of what was once valued. Faithfulness, loyalty, confidence. Willingness to make sacrifices for another. Working at settling differences. Able to compromise so that either both win or at least give the other person's opinion a chance.
Person to Person Reckless commitment to satisfy one's all consuming lust. Commitment to another. Genuine intentions. Think about other person's feelings before acting.
Feels like All-consuming euphoria similar to recreational drug use (addictive chemical reactions in the brain), stupidity (cupidity). Can risk everything for the next hit of adrenalin. A deep affection, contentment, confidence. Partners communicate and negotiate appropriate expectations. Requires a lot of selflessness and polite assertiveness. You are loving your best friend.
Result Emptiness, consequences of choices made while under the influence of mind numbing temporary lust. Security, peace, a solid partnership which can provide the ideal atmosphere to raise confident secure children.
Effect Being controlled by brain chemistry, not the heart, loss of ability to make rational evaluations of what is true, valuable and worthy. Contentment, stability.
Interdependency Cannot be sustained without some portion of love and physical attraction. Desire to be always close to that person at any cost. Partnership. Can lead to codependency if not tempered with self-awareness and self-guidedness.
Time Period Takes off fast and furious like a spark in dry grass burns out quickly and can leave feelings of emptiness. It will deepen with the passsage of time.
Commitment This is temporary in life and goes off after some period. This is permanent commitment and stays throughout the life.
Bottom Line Infatuation is delusional. Not real. Love is unconditional and the real deal.
Patience Infatuation is of the now. Love is a gradual process. It happens over time.

Contents: Infatuation vs Love

edit Differences in Dictionary Meaning

As a noun, Love is described as:

  1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
  2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
  3. sexual passion or desire.
  4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
  5. used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like: Would you like to see a movie, love?

As a noun, infatuation is described as:

  1. a foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration.
  2. temporary love of an adolescent.
  3. an object of extravagant short-lived passion.

edit Symptoms of love vs infatuation

The foremost symptom of being infatuated by a person is wanting to be around that person. This may sometimes also be sexual desire. Other symptoms may be anxiety, panic, jealousy etc. Love, on the other hand, may start with infatuation or lust and then become love. Symptoms of love are emotional attachment with someone, feelings of confidence, and affection.

edit Differences in Attributes

Love can happen without conscious intention and hence pure love doesn't expect anything in return. Infatuation, though, comes with a feeling of passion. It may start with physical attraction and may render excitement to be around a person. Love comes with passion as well as intimacy. Love is also tolerant and forgiving while Infatuation may invoke jealousy. Infatuation induces impatience while Love is patient.

edit Reasons people fall in love or be infatuated

There may or may not be any reason to fall in love. It comes with mixed emotions and may be caused by physical attraction, intellectual and emotional compatibility. Infatuation, on the other hand, may start with physical attraction and gives a feeling of being in love.

edit Differences in Feelings

Infatuation feels like being in love but it is not. The intensity of the emotion is strong but not pure like love.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. Love is always associated with connection between two souls that goes beyond the self. Infatuation may make the other person selfish if the opposite person's reaction isn't the same. Infatuation isn't pure like love and may be accompanied by lust. It is about thinking about oneself and not the other person.

edit Differences in effects of separation

Infatuation is weakened by time and separation whereas real love is strengthened by time and separation. Separation in both emotions causes great pain but infatuation may get weak and cause the feeling to lessen over time. Love develops more with time and separation.

edit Commitment in love vs infatuation

While true and pure love between two people can often develop into long term commitment, infatuation may only in very few cases lead to any commitment. True love induces a feeling of close bond towards the other person that is mutual. While infatuation may produce feelings of closeness, because they are typically one sided real, lasting commitment by both parties isn't possible.

edit Age as a factor

Infatuation is generally in the context of teenage or adolescence. There is generally no age associated with love. Anyone can be in love at any age, but most love stories before the age of 20 is considered infatuation or "puppy love".

edit Video explaining the differences

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Comments: Infatuation vs Love

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Anonymous comments (15)

September 15, 2012, 8:51pm

This really makes sense to me. Having dated guys in my late teens-early twentiesand then settling down and getting married. I have experienced things from both sides of your chart and feel that all young people should know the difference between love and lust. One leads to lasting contentment while the other is exciting for a time but followed by the most painful, emotional heartbreak. Look to see the inner qualities of the people you meet and see if you have common goals for the future.

— 68.✗.✗.81
1

June 24, 2012, 2:43pm

What i feel has properties of love and lust. But It' s a feeling that should go know where. It hurts like mad. How do I get over it?

— 92.✗.✗.23
1

June 13, 2014, 2:01am

this has helped me a lot. I was with someone for 4 years, we have a kid together, 3 months ago I caught her cheating on me with my best friend I later found out that she has been doing this for the past 2 years. she has done a lot that can show that she has changed and I told her I am willing to go to counseling, but after reading this I have to be honest with my self. she is infatuated with me, not in love.

— 50.✗.✗.159
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March 15, 2014, 6:41pm

Luv can start at any age, no one knows how u really feel for a person. Unless they r actually u!

— 74.✗.✗.35
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February 16, 2014, 12:40am

Great analysis.

— 172.✗.✗.215
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February 6, 2014, 3:03pm

awesome information

— 37.✗.✗.83
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May 20, 2013, 11:36pm

I dated this girl in high school who I was infatuated with. We broke up after about two years. Then, I realized that I am not infatuated with her anymore, and now I absolutely love her, I will do anything for her, and we might be meant for each other. We have been stuck as to whether or not we should date again, and we both agree that after dating others, we did not feel the same as we did when we are simply together. I think that infatuation can lead to a great appreciation of love.

— 173.✗.✗.117
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March 11, 2013, 1:14am

i feel like everyone associates infaturation with your teenage years. BUt teenagers know when they have a crush on someone or just like someone for their looksand not seeing it going anywhere. But what about all those couples that h ave been dating since their freshman year in high school? If they are juniors, they have been dating for two years, the same amount many people date before getting married. And when you get married, you are expected to love your spouse with all your heart, mind, and soul. the time is equivalent. I can understand that with age comes more maturity and responsibility, so i understand the blind "puppy love" infaturation that some people feel, but i feel it is unfair for adults, i being one, to assume all teenagers cannot love but only be infaturated. I also believe love is a feeling that should not be defined. You will know when you are in love, just like in the back of your head you know when you are infaturated.

— 69.✗.✗.12
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February 8, 2013, 4:39am

My girlfriend broke up with me on Wednesday. It would have been 6 months that day. I may only be a freshman in high school, but I know the difference between true love and "puppy love", and I'm sure it's not the latter. I've isolated myself from her at school for the moment to try and mull it all over, but I'm not feeling any better, my feelings just keep getting stronger. Advice please?

— 69.✗.✗.32
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December 1, 2012, 9:13pm

Infactuation is selfish and Love is selfless . So you can tell by honestly looking at who you are trying to please. Your self or the other person.

— 142.✗.✗.16
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June 18, 2012, 7:53am

Infatuation and love have similarities. But the differentiating factor is that love requires a commitment.

— 208.✗.✗.226
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April 3, 2012, 4:49pm

i agree i love my boyfreind therefore i love being around him and an greatly sad when hes away. i do expect him to love and care for me as much as i do him, which he does, and i do like all his attention because when im with him i want to be with him, be able to draw his attention and know he thinks im that imoprtant. your chart sucks!

— 168.✗.✗.250
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May 9, 2009, 2:08pm

If you read the whole thing then you would understand what it was saying about infatuation vs love. It did not imply that you don't want to be around the person you are in love with.

— 24.✗.✗.217
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September 2, 2013, 1:24pm

what duration should we consider in both cases?for example me and my best frnd we like each other,he thinks its infatuation..so we stopped talking for 7 months then we met on his birthday and again started meeting and talking. we have great bonding no doubt he said that he is not rejecting that there something between us but doesn't have courage to accept that there is something between us so i told him i will wait till he feels like accepting. Then now again we stopped talking but this separation does hurt i cant stop thinking about him and worrying.We know each other from 3 years now minus those 7 months.But he does care i could see it in his eyes when he came to talk that we are meeting for the last time and all.He was in pain and wasn't ready yet.Is this love or infatuation?still confused.I still feel he will come back besides the repeated situation.What should i do?? :(

— 117.✗.✗.104
-1

November 4, 2013, 9:02pm

I like this boy, who i would give anything for. he knows about me and he can (not literally) read my mind. People say things like "your eachothers other half". today he said its an infatuation, not to be mean or anything. -keep in mind that i have never told him how i feel- and i was kinda offended. i told him im definitely not infatuated with anybody. he said ok, and we talked about something else. i REALLY like him, what should i do?

— 66.✗.✗.32
-2

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